The oldest Deputy opens each new Reichstag, and old people's tongues are tart. Last autumn the 6th Reichstag since the founding of the Republic was opened by drooling Frau Clara Zetkin, 75, "Grandmother of the German Revolution," who screamed Communist abuse of President von Hindenburg, demanded his impeachment (TIME, Sept. 12). Last week the new (7th) Reichstag was opened in equally abusive fashion by grizzled, gimlet-eyed, grey-mustached General Karl Litzmann, 82, the Fascist Party's specially acquired official parliamentary oldster.*
As usual the Fascist Deputies goose-stepped into the Reichstag, wearing brown uniforms with red swastika armbands — all except General Litzmann. Conspicuous in an ordinary business suit pinned with all his medals, Speaker Litzmann climbed the rostrum amid Communist boos & shouts of "Defeated General!", rapped sternly for order and proceeded to roast President von Hindenburg as only one old soldier can roast another.
"Hindenburg became the savior of Germany in November 1914 due to the valor of Litzmann's brigade at Lodz — my brigade!" cried Speaker Litzmann. "That battle won Hindenburg his Field Marshal's baton. Today, Meine Hcrren, something more important than a baton is at stake! . . .
"Millions of Germans revere Hitler as the outstanding German, as the man who' after 14 years of study alone knows how Germany can be saved. . . . Yet the President has blocked Hitler's path to the Chancellory with impossible condi tions." Jeered a Communist Deputy, "I thought Hitler could do everything!"
"I repeat, impossible conditions," growled General Litzmann. ". . . Meanwhile the distress of the times has grown so keen that in Berlin 193 persons committed suicide in October!" Interrupted another Red, "Ja, 193 persons—but not one pensioned general!"
"For Hindenburg," concluded General Litzmann, "it is a question of escaping a curse which history may lay upon him— the curse, Meine Herren, of having driven the German people to despair and delivered Germany to Bolshevism!"
"Disability, Demise or Resignation?" That Germany has not been driven to the last extremes, became cheerfully apparent when General Litzmann ended his harang as Speaker pro tem, and the Reichstag proceeded quietly to re-elect as its regular Speaker huge Hauptmann (Captain) Hermann Wilhelm Goring, a Fascist who has put on at least 75 Ib. since he took over command of the late, great Baron von Richthofen's squadron of German flying aces in 1918.
With Hauptmann Goring at the gavel, the Deputies proceeded to elect their three Vice-Speakers, were told that Socialist Paul Loebe and People's Partyman Otto Hugo had tied for the third Vice-Speakership. To break this tie the two men drew lots from a bowl. Just at that moment the official tellers announced that a recount showed there had been no tie, awarded the third Vice-Speakership to astonished Dr. Loebe who had lost the draw.