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something dreadful belonging to me, I used to fix my attention on
some chink in the window with a concentration that would have surprised
my teachers who found it so lacking in all my studies' I have had the
frenzy that Mr. F. P. Carroll speaks of in every imaginable place, from a
hotel bathroom to St Peter's in Rome. It has spoilt, or lost to me for
good, most of the things in life I have wanted. I have tried various
cures psychological and otherwise, which have cost a great deal and
done me no good But latterly I have found something that does help, and
that is just talking about it. ''This is not so easy as it sounds For
one thing, part of the complex is that one finds it almost impossible
to talk about it and this is encouraged by doctors and other advisers,
who say 'banish it from your mind,' 'forget it,' and all that nonsense.
One can banish everything else from one's mind, including the
doctors and advisers, but not that. But I have found that to talk about
it when it comes on is a help; instead of instinctively bottling it up,
to let it go on whoever happens to be nearest who will listen. It may
be borin? for them, but it is not more so than nine out of ten of the
things that people talk about. . . ."
