Had they been interviewed, some people who figured in last week's news might have related certain of their doings as follows:
Mrs. Theodore Roosevelt: "Many a distinguished lady and gentleman made the annual pilgrimage to my husband's tomb at Oyster Bay, L. I., on the eighth anniversary of his death, last week. Congressman Hamilton Fish simultaneously lauded him in the House of Representatives, and the trustees of the New York State Roosevelt Memorial reported to the New York Legislature, outlining final plans for a memorial wing at the American Museum of Natural History and asking for $700,000 of the $2,500,000 appropriated for its erection."
Theodore Roosevelt: "My brother, Kermit, lost his left thumb when, last week, a Manhattan surgeon amputated it to rid him of a persistent infection. The infection was apparently the result of radium treatment which my brother underwent six years ago to remove from his left thumb a wart."
Kermit Roosevelt: "My brother, Archie, was robbed of some of his distinction as a hunter of big game when, last week, it was reported that Hunter Stanley R. Graham of Chicago had returned with four pumas from the Princon Mountains, Ariz., where my brother hunted but bagged naught."
Archie Roosevelt: "My brothers, Theodore and Kermit, were robbed of their unique distinction as hunters of ovis poli when, last week, an expedition for the American Museum of Natural History, under William J. Morden and James L. Clark, cabled from Peking its return from Tibet and Turkestan with enough of the creatures to make a large family group. The despatch said ovis poli were 'not so rare'; reported that the natives slaughter them wholesale for meat; reported seeing 33 in one herd. . . . My brother, Theodore, was active last week making speeches in his native state (New York), on military economy (which he at- tacked) and migration to farms (which he advocated)."
James Rowland Angell, President of Yale: "Lately, Director Richard Swann Lull of our university's Peabody Museum received a telegram from Texas saying that Old Bill, 22-year-old, 2,500-pound Asian armored rhinoceros, worth $30,000, had died very suddenly. Professor Lull, quick to reply, told Old Bill's owners, the Ringling Brothers Circus, that he would be glad to have them stand by an agreement made years ago by the late P. T. Barnum and renewed by the Ringlings when they bought out Mr. Barnum, that the corpses of their rare animals should come to the Peabody Museum. Last week the Museum announced that Old Bill's hide was in Manhattan being tanned, that his skeleton was in New Haven. Two Peabody exhibits will be made of Old Bill, the skeleton and a papier mache rhinoceros wearing Old Bill's hide. They will be placed beside Old Bill's onetime companion of circus days, Fatima, 2,000-pound mare hippopotamus."