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Said J. Finley Wilson, Grand Exalted Ruler: "I am a native of Tennessee. Came from the ranks—bellboy, newsboy, bootblack, hotel waiter, head waiter, cowboy, miner, newspaper reporter, editor, publisher, president of the Negro Press Association, and was elected four times by acclamation. ... I put in our splendid education and health programs. I stand on my record. Let others climb on the bandwagon! Organization is my slogan!"
Said J. Dalmus Steele, Harlem's defeated candidate for Grand Exalted Ruler: "I was quadruple crossed. My future in Elkdom is practically blighted and my faith in the order is virtually under- mined. . . ."
Snip
In Belmar, N. J., one Ralph Berardi clanged his bell and cried his cry in front of the house of a Mrs. Minnie Levine. Out came Mrs. Levine with a pair of scissors. Mr. Berardi ground them for her on his scissors-grinder as expertly as he could. Mrs. Levine eyed the result, her lips in a purse of doubt. Suddenly she seized Mr. Berardi by his baggy trousers. Snip! Before you could say "Spaghetti" she had sliced a gaping moon out of one trouser, right at the knee. Ventilated, humilitated Mr. Berardi rushed to court.
Stain
In Manhattan, a corpulent blackamoor was apprehended for picking pockets. In court, as soon as the culprit's name was mentioned, the judge recalled him as a citizen with a prior blot on his record, dating back to 1920. (The corpulent culprit's name was Juice Stain.)
* Not to be confused with Author Donald Ogden Stewart (Parody Outline of History, Mr. and Mrs. Haddock Abroad, etc.) *Improved Benevolent Protective Order of Elks of the World. †Mayor Walker was in Europe (See p 10).