Japanese pop superstar Ayumi Hamasaki
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Last year, however, she had a change of heart. On the days following Sept. 11, the images of commercial airplanes slamming into the World Trade Center played over and over again on Japanese TV. "I couldn't believe it was real," Hamasaki recalls. The calamitous events halfway across the world affected her deeply, overhauling her vision for the album she was then working on. While earlier songs focused on her own loneliness and confusion, I Am... takes on issues like faith and world peace. "In the beginning, I was searching for myself in my music," she explains. "My music was for me. I didn't have the mental room to be conscious of the listener; I wrote to save myself." However, in A Song Is Born, inspired by 9/11, she writes:
Remember once again
How our earth should appear
And then try somehow not to forget.
I know, I know no one wanted all of this.
The planned album cover, an element Hamasaki considers crucial to conveying her message, was also tossed. "I knew it wasn't the time for gaudiness, for elaborate sets and costumes," she says. "It sounds odd coming from me, but I realize what I say and how I look has a great impact." She decided instead on portraying herself as a sort of peace muse, standing in a desert clad only in vines, a white dove perched on her shoulder.
I Am... differs in another important respect from her earlier albums: it is her debut as a composer, under the pseudonym Crea — the name of her pet Chihuahua. "Typically, I do everything at the very last minute," she says. "It's always difficult for me to explain to the composer what I'm looking for. I'm not a professional; I lack even basic knowledge about writing music. But I discovered that if I do it myself, it's quicker and closer to what I have in mind." The results are surprisingly good. While Maria sounds slightly unfinished, the songs Evolution and Endless Sorrow are among her best.
A concert crowd of 7,000 — and 150 million more in households across Asia — watched Hamasaki perform Maria at the MTV awards show in Singapore, dressed in a kimono she designed bearing the Japanese characters for "love," "peace" and "future." According to MTV, Hamasaki was a top draw on a show that featured international stars like Mandy Moore and Enrique Iglesias. "She has a huge fan base in this part of the world," says Mishal Varma, who produced the show. "The kids love everything about her. She's got her finger on the pulse, quite like Madonna does."
When she arrived in Singapore, Hamasaki was unprepared for the response. Thousands of fans mobbed her at the airport and in her hotel. She and her entourage somehow managed to duck the crowds to sneak in a meal at Singapore's outdoor dining stalls. But cell-phone-networked fans got wind of her movements and by the time her white Mercedes pulled up at the airport, screaming boys and girls threatened to crush Hamasaki as she edged, encircled by bodyguards, to the VIP lounge. She was exhilarated by the trip nonetheless. "The fans were ... impassioned," she says, chuckling incredulously. "I couldn't even have anticipated that kind of welcome. It made me realize how much the people of Asia support me and that I had to go back." With that in mind, she relocated a planned photo shoot for a coffee-table book in late February from L.A. to Hong Kong. It was, typically, a last-minute change. "That's just how she is," sighs Yuka Kikuchi, Hamasaki's manager. "In her broad strategy, Asia is the next step. That's her: she just makes up her mind and moves."
Hamasaki's timing seems, as usual, spot on. "Her level of enormous popularity does not last," says industry analyst Taruishi. "Even Madonna hit a peak, and though she remains one of the top artists in the world, her records don't sell out." Given Hamasaki's admiration for Madonna, such a career arc sounds acceptable to her. So, too, do sudden swerves into clothing design, say, or dance or even again into movies. She insists those are mere options, though — not hopes or goals. "I don't have dreams," she says, slowly, shaking her head. "How can I say it? I myself am a dream."