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When I called Loewenstein for an explanation of how Petraeus could make so many hot-state mistakes in the middle of the day, over e-mail, he said someone as upright as Petraeus was particularly vulnerable since he had little practice in dealing with sexual temptation. So he kept getting excited and doing stupid things, like writing inappropriate e-mails despite all that wasted time learning Morse code.
But Loewenstein told me that he probably wasn't the best person to talk about what Petraeus did wrong. He actually doesn't fault Petraeus' overestimation of his willpower nearly as much as he does our prudish society for making Petraeus so inexperienced that he didn't know he was supposed to restrict his adulterous exchanges to phone calls and cash-only hotels--which would have saved our country from needless scandal. "I think most of us underindulge. Most of us are too self-controlled," Loewenstein said. Fighting willpower, he believes, can be fruitless. And it causes great misery.
Then one of the greatest neuroeconomists who's ever lived--a man who has studied both the human brain and money--gave me advice that's haunted me ever since. "As a 57-year-old talking to a 41-year-old, I'd say, 'Enjoy it now.' My personal advice is, do hire the hot nanny," he said. "Though that's not the best way to have an affair." Maybe not, but it sounds a lot easier than writing a Pippa Middleton biography.