(2 of 2)
So I decided to take the advice of Robert Siciliano, a security consultant who works with companies such as ADT and McAfee and who had sent me an irate e-mail after reading my column about how I use the same password for all my websites. He suggested I get ADT Pulse--a new system that, because of the falling price of technology, allows homeowners to run their homes like Gitmo. He's got eight cameras outside his house and seven inside recording 24 hours a day; he watches them live from his desk like he's Tony Montana. When I told him I thought his surveillance was a little extreme, he said, "Dude, I would love, love, love to be you. I'd love to have no idea what's going on." Sure, the odds of home invasion are low, but so are those of getting injured in a car accident, and yet I wear a seat belt. Getting an alarm, writing a will and buying life insurance are ways of acknowledging the ugly parts of life and taking responsibility for them, he said. I found this to be an awful sales technique.
Still, I agreed to get the Pulse system. "You'd be an asshole if you didn't," Siciliano said. "If you got whacked, then what? Your wife would probably marry someone richer than you. But what about until then?" I wanted cameras around my house just to keep this sweet talker away from Cassandra.
Over three days, ADT workers installed cameras, a digital video recorder, sensors, smoke alarms, carbon monoxide detectors, a router, a monitor and a new thermostat. Now I can watch the outside of my house on my computer, iPad or phone. There is never anything going on, but I watch anyway, which makes me feel as if I work at the world's most poorly located 7-Eleven. I can even use an app to turn on the alarm, switch off lights and change the temperature when I'm away on a business trip. Cassandra hasn't figured out that I'm going to be scaring her all the time this way.
After a few weeks, I don't feel as paranoid as I'd feared. I wish the world were different, but if we're all going to be watched and tracked all the time, it feels a tiny bit empowering to be doing some of the watching and tracking. Though it would feel a lot more empowering if I could figure out how to use Craigslist to persuade hot couples to have sex in front of my garage.
Cassandra loves the system and feels like I care about her more. "I feel protected. I can sleep better," she said. Then she added, "I'm thinking about buying a gun." For my safety, I'm thinking about sleeping outside.