Nice Work If You Can Avoid It

In which I take a break from my idle life to defend American laziness

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Illustration by Tomaz Walenta for TIME

Joel Stein Awesome Column

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Some will bemoan our nation's laziness. Not me. And not just because bemoaning sounds like a lot of work. It's because laziness is the mark of a mature society. China is exciting right now with all that dynamic growth, but you don't want to live there with its smog, dangerous infrastructure and insistence on learning math. You want to live in Italy, where no one has worked in centuries. The French live better than we do, and the only things the French make are aspersions. Sure, you can watch your civilization go out in violent debauchery like the overly ambitious Romans did. But you're better off looking around like the British and deciding that running an empire is a lot less important than finally paying attention to improving your own cuisine. Americans were so ready for a lazy caf culture that we spent the past 15 years building nothing but Starbucks.

There was no leisure culture until now because leisure sucked. Of course our grandparents liked to work. When they weren't working, they were at home with their eight children. Without television. I'd rather lift a million 69%-heavier things than do that.

Our great-grandparents worked hard so we wouldn't have to. To strive is to dishonor them. We work more hours than any other industrialized nation, and it's getting us nowhere but miserable. That's why I'm thinking about building a nationwide 30-week-work-year movement. It might also solve the unemployment problem. But there's no way I'm calling an economist to find out.

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