Stephen Colbert, Knox College, 2006
Words of Wisdom:
"I have two last pieces of advice. First, being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it. And lastly, the best career advice I can give you is to get your own TV show. It pays well, the hours are good, and you are famous. And eventually some very nice people will give you a doctorate in fine arts for doing jack squat."
Did Knox College invite as its 2006 commencement speaker Stephen Colbert the comedian or Stephen Colbert the invented TV personality? When the political satirist and host of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report took the podium in Galesburg, Ill., no one knew which version of Colbert they would get — not even the man himself. "I'm not sure which one of us you invited to speak here today," he said. "I'm just going to talk and I'm going to let you figure it out."
Colbert rambled about everything from overdue library books to the Dred Scott case, but ended with one piece of earnest advice. "Cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or be disappointed in us," he told the class of 2006. "Cynics always say no ... for as long as you have the strength to, say yes."