After nearly eight years, two kids, one awful desert island movie and multiple failed Kabbalist interventions, the muscled pop star, 50, and British director, 40, called it quits this fall. Rumors of a split started over the summer when Madonna and New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez hit it off so well that A-Rod's wife accused him of having an "affair of the heart." Once the Ritchie break-up was announced, the inevitable backbiting commenced. Madge mocked her soon-to-be ex-husband in concerts by dedicating a song to "the emotionally retarded." He told friends making love to her was like "cuddling a piece of gristle." In the end, they agreed that they'll share custody of their two sons (she has a daughter from a previous relationship), she'll keep her $450 million and he his $45 million. We're not sure who gets to keep the dignity.