Michele Bachmann
What you'll need:
The Aug. 15, 2011, cover of Newsweek
Rubber bands
Staples
Cut out Bachmann's face from Newsweek cover, poke holes through eyes, staple rubber bands at the edges and place on your face. Tip: it helps to walk around overly wide-eyed, like you just drank a coffeemaker. As for the outfit, you can just reuse your Sarah Palin getup from last year.
Rick Perry
What you'll need:
Chaps
Rugged, Carhartt-style coat
An oversize belt buckle
Nightcap
The first three items will let people know you're Texas' swaggering "jobs governor." The nightcap emphasizes Perry's sleepiness on the campaign trail.
Herman Cain
What you'll need:
A suit
A pizza box
A gimmicky jobs plan to restore America to fiscal sustainability and greatness through a systematic overhaul of the federal tax code
Open pizza box, place jobs plan inside. Tip: your plan will sound much more persuasive if you repeat a single number over and over again. Or if you give it extra cheese.