Joyce, 15, Elysia, 14, and Alison, 14, at their friend's 16th birthday party, Arlington, Va.
"I've been on medications for depression since eighth grade. I was on Paxil, then I went into a hospital for cutting myself. When I came out, they had me on a mood stabilizer, which made me gain thirty pounds. Then they put me on an antipsychotic called Risperdal. Then they gave me ReVia, this stuff they give heroin addicts. I hadn't ever done heroin, but it was to keep me from cutting and stuff. That was messed up. I was a zombie for a while. Over the years, they've put me on and taken me off of different medicines. I won't let them put me on Risperdal and ReVia anymore, because I know how they f*** with me and how tired I get from them. I'm just not myself.
I definitely think prescription drugs have helped me. I get upset about it sometimes, because it is another addiction. When I miss my medication, I get withdrawal symptoms and feel sick. But all in all, they really just balance me out. They keep me from feeling the only answer to everything is to kill myself or, you know, spend money I don't have. There are those two extremes, and they both can be really hazardous. This keeps me on more of a middle ground. It upsets me when people say prescription drugs keep you from being who you really are, because I don't feel who I really am is someone who's crying all the time. I think I'm really who I am when I have the drugs.
The good thing about having female friendships is that there isn't any of that sexual tension involved. I mean, I have guys who I can cry to and have fun with, but it's not the same bond. A lot of the time, girls and guys become friends because one of them thought the other one was attractive. And there's none of that involved with being friends with girls. You can just be real.
Having female friends who you can have fun with and run around with and act all giddy with and then share your most embarrassing, real moments with is worth so much. And just being able to have people who can support your choices or, even when you f*** up in your choices, still love you through anything.
There's tons of drama in the relationships between girls. Girls have catfights and girls hold grudges. But when you have your best girlfriends who you've been through thick and thin with, you get past who looks better when and who gets what guy. With a boyfriend, you don't necessarily know if you're going to be with them in a certain amount of time. But you can be sure that your girlfriends will be there."