Jason Yeager
Moon River
Paula tells us she did her first ballet recital to this song, which inspires the ex-singing waiter to confess that he dedicated the performance to his grandmother. In other words, it was that bad. Bland singing is excusable, but the cabaret stool and pasted on "I'm in Showbiz!" smile are bad augers. As is the fact that the performer he most resembles is...Mitt Romney.