Quotes of the Day

Should a Communist pay membership dues on the bribes he takes? Yes, if he is honest to the Party to a fault. I recalled that Soviet joke last week as Russian Education Minister Vladimir Filippov publicly branded private tuition offered by school teachers to their classes as "illegitimate extortion."

This racket has been on for generations: if you want to keep your kids out of trouble, you pay their school teachers on the side for "private tuition" — or else. To fight this evil, teachers will now sign contracts with their students on giving them private tuition out of class. Teachers will also have to pay taxes on the money, which had once safely passed under the table. The idea of legitimizing extortion and bribery with the state taking its cut seems promising in a country where it costs up to $500,000 to get the job of a deputy prime-minister, as Georgi Satarov, once Yeltsin's top aide, publicly revealed recently.

Russia may run out of oil, which now accounts for most of its revenue, but will never run out of graft. What we really need is a Ministry for Corruption to tap this richest and inexhaustible natural resource for public use.

Exposing a couple of dozen senior police officers currently under arrest on charges of extortion, murder, bribes, etc., serves no purpose. Should we proceed along this way, we'll have to throw almost the entire government behind bars, which will amount to killing the chicken that lays golden eggs.

Instead, let us enroll these grafty officials into the Corruption Ministry to make sure that not a single cent, extorted or paid in bribe, goes untaxed. It will also help keep the oligarchs in line: signing formal contracts with their racketeers to streamline "illegitimate extortion" opens new vistas. It helps enhance stability, make life predictable, and the investment environment safe. Nor would Putin have to lean on the oligarchs any longer, should he want another $300 million to build a new residence.

One thing we'll need, of course, is the Corruption Ministry's internal security service to expose those rotten apples who dare not extort or take bribes. Thankfully, there will be few such miscreants. The record shows that most public servants will prove honest to the state to a fault.

• YURI ZARAKHOVICH
• How to tackle graft? Put a tax on it, says TIME's Yuri Zarakhovich.