Quotes of the Day

Joel Stein's lyrics for "Gary's Dreams," a campaign song for Gary Johnson, to be sung to the tune of Van Halen's "Dreams."

Deficit piling up so scary
No one knows what to do
Our debt ceiling starts falling down
Better vote for Gary!
Yeah, you donate a little cash
Gary comes through
And legalizes hash!

We'll get lower and lower
Tax bills with Gary
They'll get lower and lower
So rich it'll be scary

Run, run, run he goes
Goin up Mount Everest
Ironman is so strong
It's not even funny
Looking so Presidential
Better than Mitt Romney
We've got to put Gary's
Face on our money!

We'll get lower and lower
Tax bills with Gary
They'll get lower and lower
So rich it'll be scary

So baby dry your eyes
Save all the tears you've cried
Because that's what Gary's dreams are made of
(Background chorus: Yeah! Human tear dreams)
'Cause we belong in a country that's strong
Oh, that's what Gary's dreams are made of

• Joel Stein