Quotes of the Day

1 cup cooked oatmeal
1/2 cup fresh berries
1 cup plain yogurt
6 tablespoons brown sugar

Preheat oven to 350°. Although you will not use the oven for this recipe, it will warm up the cold kitchen in the morning. (Remember to leave oven door open.) Also, I always wanted to start a recipe with "preheat oven."

Divide the oatmeal between two small, pyrex bowls. Push the berries on top of the oatmeal. Pour enough yogurt on top to insulate the heat of the oatmeal.

Spoon sugar over top of bowls evenly, fully covering. Burn with a créme brûlée torch until solid.

Serves two idiots willing to tolerate your stupid ideas.

• JOEL STEIN