Whats a self-respecting slob to do? Turn to the ever-reliable red meat? Not likely, after the e.coli scare caused by the largest ever recall of ground beef in the nations history. And as if couch potatoes werent infuriated enough by the sight of FDA swat teams swarming over hamburger patties like flies on the proverbial, they were also treated to the disgustingly healthy sight of all those UPS workers being active again. Not to mention the trim Mir cosmonauts and their astronautical acrobatics. As if to rub it in, the very first space commercial released this week in Israel featured Commander Vasily Tsibliyev downing a gooey gob of ugh! skim milk.
Finally, spare a thought for Ron Carey who went from hero to zero in the space of four days. It wasnt tobacco or red meat that brought the Teamsters President down, but that other American vice: alleged campaign finance abuse. Perhaps the FDA ought to stick health warnings on soft money contributions.