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25 Years Ago At Microsoft
GEEKS' REVENGE Just 25 years ago, these folks (in a '78 photo) were undatable. Look what's become of Microsoft's original staff members--and their estimated worth (EW)

BILL GATES (1), co-founder. Now: chairman; EW: $62 billion

PAUL ALLEN (2), co-founder. Now: sports-team owner, philanthropist; EW: $21 billion

BOB GREENBERG (3), programmer. Now: makes golf software; EW: $20 million

JIM LANE (4), project manager. Now: runs own software company; EW: $20 million

GORDON LETWIN (5), programmer. Now: green philanthropist; EW: $20 million

ANDREA LEWIS (6), technical writer. Now: free-lance journalist; EW: $2 million

MARC MCDONALD (7), programmer. Now: works for software company; EW: $1 million

BOB O'REAR (8), chief mathematician. Now: cattle rancher; EW: $100 million

BOB WALLACE (9), production manager-designer. Now: psychedelic-drug advocate; EW: $5 million

STEVE AND MARLA WOOD (10), programmer and bookkeeper. Now: He runs a telecommunications company, and she volunteers. EW: $15 million Sources: Most recent proxy statement, Microsoft; Associated Press

Dollitics
AND SKIPPER FOR VEEP Barbie for President, back on the campaign trail after eight years, hits Toys "R" Us next week. Something about the doll (there are Latina and black versions) put us in mind of other political dolls. Next up: Malibu Hillary?

Ever Wonder: Wu Am I?
Always wanted to be a member of the Wu-Tang Clan but were afraid your name wasn't cool enough for the likes of Ol' Dirty Bastard? Quit worrying. Everyone can get a complimentary Wu Name--denoting your status within the multiplatinum rap group at . Of course, whether these are just nicknames or sly character assessments is unclear.

Bill Clinton: 100-Watt Warlock

George W. Bush: Bastard, Bastard Harbour-Mastah

Al Gore: Jive-Talkin' Choirboy

Ricky Martin: Radiophonic Oddity

Britney Spears: Spunky Misunderstood Genius

Bill Gates: Flailing Fanatical Killer

Demi Moore: Big Wicker Ventriloquist

Elian Gonzalez: Childish Gambino

Vladimir Putin: Sabre-Toothed Portillo

Kim Jong Il: Ol' Mucky Terrahawk

Regis Philbin: Chocolatey Shatner

William Shatner: Alarmingly Named Wolfman

Ghostface Killa (actual Wu-Tang member): Dizzy Cow

Hacker Chat
Did I Mention My Plan to Bring Down Microsoft?
If convicted of the attack on that he's charged with, the 15-year-old Canadian hacker known as MAFIABOY may regret his conversations on the IRC (Internet Relay Chat) network. They were transcribed by eavesdropping security expert JOEL DE LA GARZA and passed on to the FBI.

"So Mafiaboy, it was really you that hit ALL those ones in the , E*TRADE, eBay?" writes a friend, T3.

"Maybe," says Mafiaboy. "Who knows. Would only answer that under ssh2 [an encryption program]."

"They say you're costing them millions."

"Surprised I didn't get raided yet, T3. They are fools."

Later, Mafiaboy boasts about his intended victims: "Microsoft will be gone for a few weeks," he says. "I'm thinking something big, maybe

As the FBI investigation widens, Mafiaboy changes his handle to "anon": "Tonight I put this computer on the fireplace...I don't want to take any chances."

"Really," says Mshadow. "And talking on IRC is not a chance?"

"What can IRC prove?" asks anon.

"They can't catch you," says T3, but adds, "I need to get away from you before I get busted for being an accomplice." BY CHRIS TAYLOR/NEW YORK

Intelligence
The State Dept. Lands In the Laptop of Danger
MADELEINE ALBRIGHT is furious--and embarrassed. It is bad enough the State Department had to admit that a notebook computer with sensitive material had vanished last January from its ultrasecure internal spy shop after Albright's inspector general warned about lax security there just months before. Now, intelligence sources tell TIME that the laptop in the Intelligence and Research Bureau contained critical data on weapons proliferation: the spread of missiles and nuclear, chemical and biological weapons. Some of that intelligence came from signals intercepts classified as "Gamma"-level Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI), two levels above Top Secret.

If the laptop has fallen into the wrong hands--and not just those of a petty thief--it would not only reveal much about what the U.S. knows of the spread of weapons around the world, but also could alert adversaries that the U.S. is spying on them and how. Said a former senior intelligence official: "If it is Gamma, then the fact of its substance being known could also blow an intercept source. It could blow someone's cover."

Intelligence sources also said that the laptop may have been missing for two weeks before anyone noticed. After that, another two weeks passed before State's in-house security service was called in. The congressional committees that monitor intelligence (and which by law must be informed of potential espionage) were only notified in mid-April. "Security is synonymous with the conduct of an effective foreign policy," says Benjamin Gilman, chairman of the House International Relations Committee. "This serious lapse calls that into question."

State's record is not encouraging. Last year, in another case, FBI agents found a Russian bug in a room that TIME has learned was used by CIA officials to discuss intelligence. And State's inspector general's report, produced last September, singled out the Intelligence and Research Bureau for loose handling of SCI material, recommending its control over it be taken away. As for the laptop, the search continues, but hopes are not high. Says a U.S. security official: "Nobody has any f______ idea where that laptop is, and they may never find it." Ever more desperate feds are scouring Washington-area pawn shops in the hope that an unknowing thief tried to cash the notebook in. Their fear: foreign spies may beat them to the sale. BY MASSIMO CALABRESI AND ADAM ZAGORIN/WASHINGTON

Protester Chic
Demonstrators at the Gonzalez home in Miami (M) and the IMF/World Bank meetings in Washington (W) have both successfully communicated their messages. And despite their very different styles, they have communicated something else too--the same helpful fashion tips.

Running from the Law
AND THE MEDAL FOR CHEATING...The marathon, the world's most grueling track event, seems to attract the most creative cheats:

Boston Marathon, 2000 Two competitors in the wheelchair race are disqualified when organizers discover that they are, in fact, able-bodied athletes.

Johannesburg Marathon, 1999 A runner sneaks into a portable toilet and switches numbers and clothes with his brother, then swaps outfits again and finishes the race.

Canadian International Marathon, 1998 Shafie Soheil allegedly jumps onto the Toronto course a few hundred yards from the finish. She requires an IV at the end. Pristine running clothes and no sign of her at water stations and video checkpoints tip off officials.

Los Angeles Marathon, 1997 Nadezhda Ilyina is stripped of her crown when she admits to cutting through a gas station mid-race in search of a bathroom.

Boston Marathon, 1997 A middle-aged couple win their respective age groups in near record times, but both are disqualified for not appearing on race tapes or seeming at all sweaty.

Shakespeare in Luvs
NOVEL ADVERTISING Bill Fitzhugh's book Cross Dressing, out in June, will be the first work of fiction to contain paid product placement (for Seagram liquor). How might famous works have been changed if other authors had come up with this idea?

--Romeo and Juliet: "But, Microsoft! What light through yonder Windows 2000 breaks?"

--Lolita: "Lolita, light of my Life Savers, fire of my loins."

--The Rime of the Ancient Mariner: "Water, water, everywhere, nor an Evian drop to drink."

--A Tale of Two Cities: "It was the best of TIME, it was the worst of TIME."