Plus, Live From The Plaza--Jewel!

Darva, George Pataki, Dr. Laura and Bobby Knight explain the year for us

Last night I dreamed of Marisleysis. She, Uncle Lazaro and the two grandmothers were on that island watching Richard Hatch take his clothes off. Regis dropped by to perform the wedding ceremony for Darva Conger and Vladimir Putin (I must say, they made a stunning couple). Then we all went down to the N.R.A.-theme restaurant on Broadway, where everyone gave Charlton Heston a cold, dead hand. Suddenly Barbra Streisand got up onstage and yelled, "Do you know what it is to have to walk around in high heels and sing 35 songs a night, to have to diet and get into...

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