Here's my idea of the perfect exercise machine: it looks like a stationary bike, but with way more dials, wires and digital readouts. You input the workout you want--how hard, how long, how many calories burned--and turn the thing on. Then you walk away. The ideal Quittner exercise machine exercises by itself while Quittner enjoys the fat-melting, cardiac-strengthening benefits--possibly sitting in a comfortable chair drinking his favorite concoction of lime juice, brown sugar and rum.
By now you can see why I have made so little headway in the many exercise regimens I have attempted in my calorie-packed life. I have...