Tell The Kids To Fib

Sometimes you have to teach your kids to fib–or at least learn one of the grownup versions: using a pseudonym. Online, it’s the best way to defend your privacy. This often arises when you go to a web page looking for something like free, trial software. Many sites won’t let you proceed to their goodies without divulging some personal data–which they will shamelessly rent, sell or trade to who knows whom. So I simply make up a name, address, phone number, zip code or e-mail address. And I encourage my children to do the same.

(Note: I do not do this or condone it, at any reputable retail site where your name and address are collected along with your credit-card number. The sites that get my business have written privacy policies that assure me that my information remains in-house and confidential.)

I advocate using a nom de hack as an alternative to the legislative approach urged by the Federal Trade Commission last week. Privacy Online: A Report to Congress does an exhaustive job of detailing the sneaky practices of many websites. The FTC found, for instance, that 92% of the 1,400 sites it randomly surveyed collected personal information about their users; only 14% ever disclosed that practice.

But it is the protection of kids that most concerns the commission. A number of sites try to trick children into giving their names and addresses and worse. One unidentified “child-directed” site, according to the report, even asked each visiting kid “whether he or she has received gifts in the form of stock, cash, savings bonds, mutual funds or certificates of deposit.” It also wanted to know if the parents owned mutual funds. To which I say, Any child who knows that is probably not a child.

Naturally, I believe children should be protected online from commercial and other predators. But I am worried that whenever the government tries to legislate Net behavior, it veers into conflict with freedom of speech. Parents, rather than the government, should protect their children.

David Medine, one of the commission staff members who worked on the report, argues that “parents can’t be with their children every minute they’re on the Internet.” He says the commission hoped that the online industry would have voluntarily established privacy guidelines by now. It hasn’t. Therefore, he says, “we think it’s important for the government to step in and provide those protections.”

Instead, you can do plenty of things at home to protect your kids. Keep your computer in a public place–a family room rather than a bedroom–and watch where your children are clicking. Teach your kids safe computing: though talking to strangers can be a fun part of online communicating in chat rooms and such, never give real names, addresses or phone numbers. Don’t even reveal gender or age. Explain that most sites that ask them to register for prizes are only trawling for info that can be used in annoying ways.

You can also insist that websites wise up. John Featherman, who publishes the monthly Privacy Newsletter, observes, “Really good home pages have privacy policies. It’s as simple as that.” Responsible sites disclose to users that they collect personal information and explain what they do with it. That’s a far better solution than anything that will come from Congress. It’s also better than being encouraged to lie.

Quittner’s website at time.com features useful privacy-protection sites this week. He can also be reached at jquit@well.com