HOW TO SPEAK FLUENT BASEBALL

"WELCOME TO THE SHOW." THAT DULL AND uninspiring line is the new promotional slogan for Major League Baseball. A far more compelling and honest campaign would have been, "What Were We Thinking?" Or maybe, "Baseball Apathy--Don't Catch It." Or better yet, "We're Really, Really Sorry." Instead we get "Welcome to the Show."

What show? The one with no labor agreement (still), no commissioner (Bud Selig doesn't count), no national television contract, no marketing director, 30 agendas for 30 franchises, 80 different player agents, a statistically meaningless 144-game schedule and millions of seats now empty because the occupants have left for good?

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