Miscellany, Mar. 16, 1953

Fourth Dimension. In Manhattan, John Reynolds sat in a theater engrossed in the realism of a three-dimensional movie showing sea lions splashing in their London Zoo pool, felt a light spray on his face, saw beads of water fog his polarized glasses, got out of his seat and found two boys in a front row shooting water pistols at the audience.

Short Change. In Milwaukee, Tomie Looney dropped a $5 bill in a sewer, got help from Sewer Department Employee John Krzewina, who fished around in the hole with a long-handled rake for half an hour, finally dredged up a muddy $1 bill.

Extracurricular. In Ankara, the Turkish Ministry of National Education issued a ruling specifically prohibiting professors from: 1) marrying foreign women; 2) living with them.

Good Samaritan. In Lorain, Ohio, a housewife lost $135 cash and a $15 gas bill on her way to the Ohio Fuel Gas Co., went home to get some more money, was told by a gas company clerk that someone had just come in and paid her bill but had said nothing about the other $120.

Ex-X. In Albany, N. Y., the State Division of Employment received a terse memo from a New York unemployment insurance office in regard to a claimant: “Change of name: old name: ‘X.’ New name: ‘John Smith.’ Reason: he learned to write.”

AWOL. In Moorhead, Minn., at the Kiwanis Club’s weekly meeting, all members were present except the five-man attendance committee charged with getting out the membership.

Believe It or Not. In Dallas, Drug Warehouseman Al Semtner left a sign above the safe: “Records only. Money in box under typewriter”—but burglars broke open the safe, found no cash, took $52 from petty cash drawers, missed $150 in the box under the typewriter.

Black Sheep. In Manhattan, Solomon Bauman, 73, picked up on a pickpocket charge, pleaded with the court not to tell his sister: “It would kill her. She thinks I’m a gambler.”

Great Expectations. In Douai, France, police who arrested Accountant Théophile Dieux, 60, for stealing two bricks from a building under construction, followed him home, found his basement stuffed with bricks, timber, nails, iron bars, flooring, window frames, lime, paint, nuts & bolts, heard him explain that he had spent the last 32 years gathering items on his way home from work in order to build a country house, but the process had been so slow that the tools he stole 20 years ago to do the job are now completely rusted away.