Cinema: Stale Pastry

DEAR DETECTIVE Directed by Philippe de Broca Screenplay by Philippe de Broca and Michel Audaird

Thanks to the surprise American success of Cousin, Cousine, almost every French comedy is now exported to the U.S. Dear Detective, a dreary account of a middle-aged love affair, is one of the latest such movies to arrive, and it should never have left the Parisian suburbs. This film tries to spin charm by plying the audience with closeups of pastry and long shots of the Eiffel Tower. Not even Maurice Chevalier would have been amused.

The title character is a female police inspector (Annie Girardot) who falls madly in love with an absent-minded Sorbonne professor (Philippe Noiret). Together these two whimsical types engage in such breezy activities as eating dinner, singing in the rain and kissing impulsively. In between these escapades, the heroine must solve a murder case of spectacularly uninteresting dimensions. You can always tell when Dear Detective is about to switch from romance to crime because the musical score suddenly becomes quite creepy.

For Director Philippe de Broca (King of Hearts), this should be the end of the line. Dear Detective is by far the worst product of a career blighted by increasingly terrible movies. Despite the presence of two fine stars, the film does not contain a single spontaneous scene; the supporting players and extras often appear to be mannequins. If there is any one alive in the movie, it is only Catherine Alric, a blonde bombshell cast in the gratuitous role of a blonde bombshell.

Regrettably, she does not fully disrobe in view of the camera.