Theorem No. 1: Any dramatic series the producers want us to take seriously as a representation of contemporary reality cannot be taken seriously as a representation of anythingexcept a show to be ignored by anyone capable of sitting upright in a chair and chewing gum simultaneously.
Proofs of theorem: MOBILE ONE (ABC, Friday, 8 p.m. E.D.T.). Tedious research has established this as the worst new program on the tube. Viewers are asked to believe that a glum Jackie Cooper, who can scarcely work up the energy to articulate his lines, is an aggressive...
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