Show Business: Some Lines from Lily

Wherever she goes, Lily Tomlin takes her notebooks. And wherever she goes, she writes the maxims that zing through her act like ricocheting bullets. A sampler:

> If truth is beauty, how come no one has her hair done at the library?

>Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

>if we listened to it, history would stop repeating itself.

>Ever wonder why someone doesn’t try softer?

>I had a startling revelation the other day: I found out that bread crumbs cost more than bread.

>If the nickname for Lawrence is Larry, why isn’t the nickname for Florence Flarry?

>I worry about kids today. Because of the sexual revolution they’re going to grow up and never know what dirty means.

>Life is like a recessed filter—always just a quarter-inch away.

> Why is it we are always hearing about the tragic cases of too much, too soon? What about the rest of us? Too little, too late.

> There will be sex after death—we just won’t be able to feel it.

>Why is it when we talk to God, we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?

>If you read a lot of books, you’re considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.

>If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?