The Law: A Fool for a Client

Charged with taking $850 in rent deposits for houses he did not own, Donald Rowell, 31, decided that he could do a better job with his defense than could Alice Rucker, his court-appointed attorney. So the Detroit defendant took over his case and put an unusual witness on the stand, none other than Lawyer Rucker. Now, asked self-appointed Attorney Rowell in his best courtroom manner, “have I ever lied to you?”

Witness Rucker: Do you really want me to answer that?

Attorney Rowell: Yes, I do.

Witness Rucker: Mr. Rowell, you have lied to me so many different times I cannot even begin to count them.

Guilty, said the jury. Six and a half to ten years, said the judge. Next case.