Miscellany, Mar. 25, 1946

Castoff. In Rio de Janeiro, Amalia, an aging elephant, took sick, was purged, passed an old tennis shoe.

Strong Drink. In Sacramento, Frank Taylor, after carelessly gulping blazing-hot coffee, 1) choked, 2) bit his lip, 3) fell off his chair, 4) struck his head, 5) cut his ear, 6) went to a hospital.

Indirect Object. In Ferriday, La., John Kirtis ran amuck, beat a woman over the head with a loaded revolver until it went off, shot him dead.

Silent Treatment. In Detroit, Deaf Mute Kenneth Downing sued for divorce, got it. Grounds: wife-nagging in sign language.

Lucky Strikes. In Cornwall, Ont., Raymond Larkin stomped downstairs to investigate his flooded cellar, ran happily back with a 17½-inch pike.

Trial Marriage. In Minneapolis, C. B. Hanscom refused to lend his lie detector to a young man who explained: “I’ve got some questions I want to ask her before we get married.”

Sharps & Flats. In Everett, Wash., 30 motorists milled around jabbering darkly about the driver whose truck had dropped that sack of tacks.

Skimmed. In Jamestown, N.Y., a half-full milk bottle skidded off a window sill, plummeted six stories, crashed through a thin wooden panel, landed bolt upright, unbroken.

Defense in Depth. In Little Rock, Ark., Joseph B. Bates admitted sending obscene letters to religious publications. His reason : the housing shortage kept him from living with his wife, who would have kept him from mailing that sort of letter.

Second Helping. In Dallas, because of a crime wave L. T. Busby craftily hid his bedroom doorknob in the refrigerator, later was amazed to find his door wide open, radio and clothing gone. Reason: hungry burglar.

Random Harvest. In Yokohama, a sentry spotted two Japs in a forbidden area, fired in warning, cut the power line to a Red Cross doughnut factory, ruined 56,000 doughnuts.

Professional Pride. In Manhattan, contrite Kibitzer Salvator Coliarono told the judge that Card-Player Francisco Vella was well justified in shooting him in the thigh.

Brother Rat. In Madison, Wis., Mrs. Charles H. Showers, strolling along in a muskrat coat, was twice bitten by an enraged muskrat.