Seers
In Trenton convened the National Association of Fortune Tellers (membership: 110) to plan the profession’s 1937 program. Keynoted President Helena A. (”Gypsy Lee”) Perota of Manhattan: “Fortune telling is not going to escape modernization. It will undergo a streamlining process. . . . It will have a regard for those who have practiced predicting in the past, read palms, stars, handwriting, cards, head bumps and tea leaves. But 1936 has ushered in a new era in the profession with introduction of beer suds reading. The results are as accurate as those obtained from other readings.”
In a brisk one-day session, the Convention voted to picket all tearooms employing other than Association tea-leaf readers, appeal to President Roosevelt to push repeal of state statutes outlawing fortune telling. Cried diminutive President Perota: “Legalizing fortune telling would eliminate the quacks. . . . Clairvoyants could be licensed. They would first have to show they had ability.” Then for the press the convening seers prophesied: continued Recovery, a “happy” U. S. until 1941, a 4-to-3 World Series victory for the New York Yankees, re-election of President Roosevelt. At pains to be diplomatic, President Perota hedged: “But according to our psychometry reading, which is governed by our individual psychic powers . . . Mr. Landon will win if he gets proper support.”
Bulls-Eye
In Fishersville, Va. Farmer Jasper Davis won the title of “spittingest man in the South River District” when he scored a bull’s-eye at 12 ft. 9 in. in a high wind.
Bite
In Escanaba, Mich., a parrot bit a banker’s finger. A week later the parrot died.
Amos
Into a San Francisco court John L. Green was haled for being drunk in a public place and cruel to an animal, his pet duck “Amos” with whom he had spent an hilarious Saturday night. Of Amos, the spokesman for the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals reported : “He was probably the drunkest duck I ever saw. He would stand up on the bar and quaff a foaming beaker and then go bouncing . . . into a ground loop, skid off the bar, and tailspin to the floor.” Protested Owner Green: “I’m training this little duck for a movie career. He’s as smart as they come, but a little bit shy. So I take him along with me to let him mix and get used to folks.”
Want
In London, candy magnates revealed that candy boxes decorated with pretty girls had flopped. Said they: “The people want cows, and we give them to them.”
Bet
In Kursumlija, Yugoslavia a hungry, unemployed man won a bet of 20 dinars (40¢) by swallowing two Belgrade newspapers.
Love
In Georgetown, British Guiana, Pundit Mahangoo married a third time on his 106th birthday, squeaked: “I believe love rejuvenates a man.”
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