Canada at War: THE DOMINION: A Tale of Sim

Ottawa’s bureaucracy was not amused last week when a 15-year-old schoolboy satirized Canada’s red-taped National Selective Service (the Dominion’s version of the War Manpower Commission). Donald Sim, son of a Government official, wrote that he visited Selective Service headquarters in Ottawa and told a functionary :

“I’ve found a job for the summer and I’d like the necessary permits to take it.”

The rest of the interview, as recorded by Donald for his high-school annual:

“For answer the man pulled out a pad of very official forms . . . [and] stiffly replied: ‘You mean you want a permit to look for a job.’

” ‘No, I don’t. I’ve already found the job.’

” ‘According to the laws of Canada,’ he warned, ‘you haven’t yet. But by following His Majesty’s orders you will be permitted to look for one. Sign here!’

” ‘Well, now that you are permitted to look for it, I’ll give you a permit to accept it,’ the man said. ‘After a week, when you have your job, come back.’

” ‘But I’ve got the job now.’

” ‘Now, take it easy, son. This is the Government. You don’t understand it and I don’t understand it. The only difference between you and me is that you’re trying to understand it and I’m not. I’ve given up’!

“So I left Selective Service. For the next week I did nothing. A week later I… found another boy … had got my job.”

When Ottawa newspapers seized on Satirist Sim’s story, Selective Service officials complained to his teachers. Donald Sim had to appear before the assembled student body, read a prepared retraction. The students who heard him preferred to believe his first story. When he mentioned Selective Service, they burst out laughing.