Miscellany: Tree

In Philadelphia, 19-year-old Woodrow Wilson Shumaker, unable to buy presents for his small brother and sister, set out to get them a Christmas tree. When a policeman saw him stealing one, Woodrow Wilson Schumaker tried to run away. The policeman shot him dead.

Stupid

In Lafayette, Ind., stupid thieves worked all night to blow open the unlocked door of a safe containing 24¢.

Shrewd

In Chicago, shrewd Axel Svanson dined on pigeons which he had caught while they were eating the peanuts he had bought with a dime he had begged from a passerby.

Ode

In Manhattan, Adolph Kanter, 44, drove his car through the railing and off a 75-ft. viaduct, found that instead of being killed he had suffered only a black eye, a few bruises. More proud than thankful, Adolph Kanter said he had saved himself by clinging to the cushion of his car, wrote an ode about his feat: Here I am, the miracle man, The one that flies in a Chrysler car; Lindy hopped over the ocean, Made a perfect landing in France; So did I make a perfect landing Over a Viaduct fence. I dropped seventy-five feet with a Chrysler car Yet I did not reach so far: I found myself in Knickerbocker Hospital; The only cheers I could hear Was one nurse asking the other, “Is he alive, dear?”