On Top of the Covers

Time.com's weekend football guide returns

Friday, Sept. 01, 2000
    • Are you ready for some football? Does anybody ever answer "no" to that question? Certainly not any of us here at the spartan training camp that is the TIME.com nerve center, a happy place where religion and politics have reached an uneasy truce but the NFL is welcome at any hour. Returning for a second straight year are Long Island Slim, Mean Josie Greene and the K.C. Line, fresh off a rigorous off-season conditioning program and some cracklin' spring minicamp performances and ready to tackle the big questions facing the league in Week One, like "What gives with those new Rams duds, anway?" Please remember that our picks are worth exactly what you pay for them. And as always, past performance is not an indication of future results. Which is the best news we've had since last season.

    The Line

    Favorite
    Line
    Dog
    PACKERS
    2 1/2
    Jets
    GIANTS
    6 1/2
    Cardinals
    REDSKINS
    10 1/2
    Panthers
    VIKINGS
    4 1/2
    Bears
    Ravens
    2 1/2
    STEELERS
    Colts
    3
    CHIEFS
    Jaguars
    10 1/2
    BROWNS
    Bucs
    3
    PATRIOTS
    FALCONS
    7
    49'ers
    SAINTS
    Pick
    Lions
    COWBOYS
    6
    Eagles
    DOLPHINS
    2
    Seahawks
    RAIDERS
    6 1/2
    Chargers
    BILLS
    Pick
    Titans
    RAMS
    6 1/2
    Broncos

    The Picks:
    Mean Josie Greene
    It's hard to believe it's that time again — time to stick my proverbial finger in the proverbial air (we don't get a lot of ventilation in here, so I have to use my imagination) and pick a few winners. Judging by my performance last year, any serious betting (which is, of course, illegal, kids) should be guided by my colleagues' picks. If you just want a good chuckle on Monday morning, this is the place for you.

    Jets
    Cardinals
    REDSKINS
    VIKINGS
    STEELERS
    Colts
    BROWNS
    Bucs
    49'ers
    SAINTS
    Eagles
    Seahawks
    RAIDERS
    BILLS
    Broncos

    Long Island Slim
    Ah, fall. This season, my young man's fancy is turning to thoughts of football... and how crappy I did at this last year (although I was ahead when I left town). So Week One will be a bold experiment: Pick the favorites, all the way, and see what the Post's oddsmakers are made of.

    PACKERS
    GIANTS
    REDSKINS
    VIKINGS
    RAVENS
    Colts
    Jags
    Bucs
    FALCONS
    SAINTS
    COWBOYS
    DOLPHINS
    RAIDERS
    BILLS
    RAMS

    The K.C. Line
    Where have you gone, Y. A. Tittle? Our prognosticators turn their lonely eyes to you and ask "What the--? Can't anybody play this game?" Exhibit A: Miami, where the 'Fins start off the year 1 AM (after Marino) with either Damon Huard or Jay Fiedler calling the signals. On the other side, Mr. Jon Kitna steps in to try to make Mike Holmgren forget Brett Favre, which is a bit like trying to make Gwyneth forget Brad. Not a great game to watch, or to pick, but making the tough calls is what the Line is all about, so take the Hawks and two points, and remember to tip your bartender.

    The Rest:
    PACKERS
    GIANTS
    REDSKINS
    Bears
    Ravens
    CHIEFS
    Jaguars
    Bucs
    FALCONS
    Lions
    Eagles
    RAIDERS
    BILLS
    RAMS