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FUNNYMEN EDITION

GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK

James Franco

His roast on Comedy Central drew an impressive 3.1 million viewers

Dave Chappelle

Faced hecklers during a stand-up gig in Hartford, Conn.

AWW

Glamour Puss

Grumpy Cat already has a book, a movie deal and a coffee line (Grumppuccino). Now the YouTube star has also gotten the Golden Kitty award at the Internet Cat Video Festival in Minnesota, meaning that she’s officially the Internet’s favorite feline. How purr-fect.

EASY MONEY

$3.70

BIG IN JAPAN

Many photos made after Japan opened its doors to the West were hand-colored images meant to entice foreigners. But black-and-white portraits like this were also made for the domestic market. Both types are on view in “Camera Nipponica: Photographs from Japan, 1880–1930” at the University of Washington’s Henry Art Gallery through Jan. 5.

VERBATIM

‘You know, he’s not playing King Lear. It’s Batman!’

MATT DAMON, defending the acting chops of pal Ben Affleck, who was dismissed by many fans as a bad choice to play the Caped Crusader in an upcoming feature

Average Tooth Fairy gift amount per tooth in the U.S., according to a new survey by Visa. That’s a 23% uptick from last year and a 42% increase over 2011. Your move, Easter Bunny.

QUICK TALK

Vin Diesel

At 46, Diesel has already rebooted one franchise, The Fast and the Furious: its sixth iteration just grossed almost $800 million globally. Now he’s aiming to do the same with Riddick, out Sept. 6, in which he plays a space mercenary who’s dropped on a hostile planet. It’s the third part in a sci-fi series last seen in 2004. Here, he talks to TIME.

–LILY ROTHMAN

You fight some scary aliens in Riddick. Are there any creatures that you’re scared of in real life?

Huh. Uh … dinosaurs?

I meant creatures that actually exist now.

I would say King Kong, but I’m not really scared of King Kong. That would be inaccurate.

So you’re basically not scared of anything, ever.

That’s not at all what I’m saying. The thing I’m scared of most is not fulfilling my work. There’s so much anxiety around trying to get a movie made that you don’t really get to be afraid of anything else.

There’s a line in the movie about how everyone has bad days, but this one is legendarily bad. Have you ever had a legendarily bad day?

You know, I don’t even think about bad days.

What about a legendarily good one?

A day with my kids. A day with my kids is the best day.

What would you do?

Everything. We’d have picnics, we’d be playing chess. My 5-year-old daughter, her new pastime with Daddy is playing chess.

Sounds like the opposite of being dropped on a hostile planet.

It is the antithesis of being dropped on a hostile planet.

Which franchise will last longer: Riddick or The Fast and the Furious?

Unfair. That’s like asking which child I love more!

What’s Vin playing right now?

“‘Roar,’ by Katy Perry. My 5-year-old daughter just did a performance for us, and she used the song. It’s apropos, because I literally taught my kids how to roar before they could talk.”

WORDPLAY

The late California artist Jason Rhoades’ sprawling installations are known for presenting taboo topics in a new light–as in this jumble of neon signs (Untitled, shown above on display in Switzerland in 2004), each in a different hue, representing the myriad terms people use to discuss parts of the female body. It’s just one of his many works that will take over the entire Institute of Contemporary Art in Philadelphia from Sept. 18 through Dec. 29.

GOOD SPIRITS

Drinking With the Stars

We’ll toast to this: a group of researchers (who originally published in the journal Substance Use & Misuse) tracked every booze brand that was name-dropped in more than 700 of radio’s most-played songs, as defined by Billboard year-end charts from 2009, 2010 and 2011. Here are the biggest repeat offenders and some of the lyrics that got ’em there.

“On a GREY GOOSE diet, diet, diet, and you ain’t getting wasted as I get.”

From “Grey Goose Diet” by DJ Charlie B

“I’ve thrown a punch or two and gave a few black eyes/ But JACK DANIEL’S kicked my ass again last night.”

From “Jack Daniel’s” by Eric Church

“I’m ridin’ through the city sippin’ HENNY with my thoughts in sync.”

From “Spill My Drink” by Obie Trice

“Bring another glass of PATRÓN with one more lime/ And Imma … give it to them one more time.”

From “One More Time” by Drake

“Baby will you be my CORONA and lime?/ And I will be your main squeeze.”

From “Corona and Lime” by Shwayze

“All I drink is my s—: CÎROC by the case load.”

From “O Let’s Do It (Remix)” by Waka Flocka Flame

BRANDING

Shades of Facebook

As if using Facebook weren’t enough, visitors to the social network’s San Francisco–area headquarters can now actually wear it–by buying Social Butterfly Blue nail polish in Facebook’s signature hue, at $5 a bottle. Virtual friends not included.

3 THINGS YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS WEEK

1. Who will be the new face of S&M.

Relative newcomers Dakota Johnson and Charlie Hunnam have been tapped to play the leads in the 50 Shades of Grey movie.

2. Waning interest in doing funky stuff in the desert.

More than 61,000 people attended this year’s Burning Man festival, a new record.

3. Whose judgment you’ll judge.

American Idol has confirmed its new panel: Keith Urban, Harry Connick Jr. and Jennifer Lopez.

FOR TIME’S COMPLETE FILM AND TV COVERAGE, VISIT entertainment.time.com