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CONAN O'BRIEN, on what an ER doctor told him about his nose after a beating by a street gang in high school. "I was wearing a T-shirt that had the Irish flag on it, and they were Italian," he said on comedian Marc Maron's WTF podcast. Apparently when doctors rebuilt O'Brien's nose, this is the best they could do

MOVIES

Kneel Before New Zod!

Casting for the new Superman reboot, Man of Steel, is proceeding apace. Two weeks after it was announced that Amy Adams would play Lois Lane, Boardwalk Empire star Michael Shannon was unveiled as villain General Zod, a role memorably played by Terence Stamp in the original films.

M. NIGHT SCHOOL

INTERNET IDIOCY

Harsh Lessons

Though widely mocked director M. Night Shyamalan studied film at NYU, a few pranksters clearly aren't satisfied. Their website M. Night School is attempting to raise $150,000 to send the man who made The Happening happen back to class. The cause isn't completely cruel; if the director refuses the offer, the funds will go toward a film scholarship.

MOVIES

Murder by Numbers

Any horror buffs worth their salt know that as the sequels increase, so does the body count. Wes Craven's Scream 4, the latest in the self-aware slasher series, adheres to that commandment. How do people bite it this time around? Knife to the back, knife to the gut, knife to the head ... you get the idea.

BODY COUNT

Scream 6

Scream 2 8

Scream 3 9

Scream 4 10

5 THINGS YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS WEEK

1. Drunk toddlers.

Unless you frequent the Michigan Applebee's that just gave tequila instead of apple juice to a 15-month-old.

2. Time travel as a TV plot device.

To avoid reminding people of life before communism, China has banned it.

3. Costco's being a one-trick pony.

The bulk retailer has, oddly, decided to sell a $1 million diamond ring.

4. Gate crashing as the new sex tape.

The Salahi-heavy reality show Real Housewives of D.C. has been canceled after one season.

5. Oprah's final month.

It will be memorable. President Obama will appear on an episode.

TECHNOLOGY

Flip: Out

Imagine it: a pocket-size video camera that's a cinch to use. Did you immediately think of your cell phone? Well, that's ultimately what led Cisco to stop making the Flip video camera, which shot to popularity in 2007 by being tiny and foolproof. The Flip seems like an ancient artifact now that you can shoot HD video with a smart phone.