SHOCKING
JONAS BROTHERS win T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist prize at American Music Awards. Josh Groban considered for Velveeta Lifetime Achievement Award
JOE THE PLUMBER lands book deal
Chinese Democracy finally hits stores, fulfilling the end-times prophecy "A long dormant Rose shall reach full bloom"
GWEN STEFANI to re-form No Doubt for 2009 tour. Bandmates get measured for Harajuku skirts
Vatican forgives JOHN LENNON for saying the Beatles were more popular than Jesus
French director to remake Hellraiser
SARAH PALIN wears Burberry scarf to turkey execution
PREDICTABLE
IVANKA TRUMP to pen motivational book. Lesson No. 1: Be rich, marry rich
Part-time Louisiana deputy...
