Although most people are preoccupied with just one of her paramours, the twice-married MIA FARROW will cover them all in her memoir. And for sheer eccentricity, even Woody Allen has nothing on Farrow's buddy when she was 17: Salvador Dali. Farrow told a booksellers convention, "We lunched on butterfly wings and toured New York City with garbage collectors. He judged sex to be too violent--and showers too." No fool, she also teased them with the prospect of dirty laundry, saying Allen had no respect for what she held sacred. "Not for my family, not for my soul, not for my God or my goals," she said. No release date yet, and publisher Doubleday isn't pushing. After all, writing well is the best revenge.


    Right about now, KELSEY GRAMMER may be regretting he ever wrote his autobiography, So Far. In it the Frasier star says he'll one day marry Tammi Baliszewski, "the gentle breeze in which I flourish today." Unfortunately, the wedding's off, and the gentle breeze is writing her own gale-force tell-all. Grammer also claims that Cerlette Lamme, whom he gallantly calls "not the neediest woman I've ever been with but needy enough," got high and lost his dog, Goose. Lamme is suing for libel and invasion of privacy. Not one to dwell on past errors, Grammer spent much of last week with CAMILLE DONATACCI, a Club MTV dancer and former soft-core porn actress, who describes herself as "a free-lance associate director for the BBC" and who thinks he's wonderful. Says she: "I hope we develop into something more."


    An elderly monarch, an heir with a troubled marriage, rumors of adultery...but wait. This heir is Crown Prince MAHA VAJIRALONGKORN of Thailand. Concern about his temperament rose recently when an official document was posted outside his palace alleging that his second wife, whom he married two years ago (although they have five children), was having an affair with an air force officer who worked for the royal family. The document bars the alleged adulterers from the palace, adding, "Should they be seen, the public is requested to chase them away."


    Haute couture isn't the first thing that one associates with grunge-rock waif Courtney Love, but Next Management has nevertheless signed her up as a model. "She's going to be coming out with a whole new look," says Next. (She has already gone brunet for a movie.) "We see her as someone people will design things for." Chanel barrettes, anyone?

    Robert Shapiro, never averse to cameras, has signed on as executive producer for Evil Empire, a movie about the Russian Mafia, to be written by one-man script mill Joe Eszterhas. "I'll need his creativity, street smarts and negotiation skills when I'm dealing with the Russian Mob," says Eszterhas, adding that the two are old friends. "He was one of my divorce attorneys."