Punchlines: Mar. 20, 2006

“The British government has asked people to conserve water. And today the entire country volunteered to give up brushing their teeth.” –JAY LENO

“The FDA has approved the first ever transdermal patch for the treatment of depression. Simply remove the backing and press the patch firmly over your mother’s mouth.” –TINA FEY

“The other day, New Age musician Yanni was arrested for fighting with his girlfriend. Not to be outdone, John Tesh and Kenny G. have gone on a killing spree.” –CONAN O’BRIEN

“BARRY BONDS TOOK STEROIDS, REPORTS EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER WATCHED BASEBALL” –Fake news headline from THE ONION

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons