"Schwarzenegger's approval rating is down to 30%. After he heard this, he said, 'I'm not going to act all upset and hurt because I don't have that kind of range.'" --CONAN O'BRIEN
"Every night people go out and go crazy all over France. Last night over 600 cars were set on fire. Six hundred cars! But the good news is that the rioters saved over 15% by switching to Geico." --DAVID LETTERMAN
"The only way the oil companies could make more money would be if they were drilling for oil and struck Starbucks coffee." --JAY LENO
"Eliot Spitzer is going...
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