Punchlines: Nov. 14, 2005

“If Alito is confirmed, there will be two Supreme Court Justices from New Jersey. Experts say this could cause a reversal in the famous case Mullet v. Back Hair.” –CONAN O’BRIEN

“Now the Democrats feel they’re only three or four more empty gestures away from a complete moral victory.” –ED HELMS, Daily Show correspondent, on Democrats forcing the Senate into closed session to discuss Iraqi prewar intelligence

“A new poll shows 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq. The remaining 34% think Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.” –TINA FEY, co-anchor on Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update”

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons