Call it the parent paradox: many of us love and respect the couple who reared us yet also resent the hell out of them. But social psychologist Susan Newman, author of Nobody's Baby Now (Walker & Co.), exhorts adult children to build a meaningful friendship with Mom and Dad. In researching her book, Newman interviewed 150 adults, ages 27 to 55, to investigate the tension between parents and children as they grow older. TIME spoke with Newman about barriers to a friendship with your folks and why it's critical to overcome the hurdles.
Why write another book about the parent-child relationship?
...