This Essay Is Rated PG-13

But with all the toilet humor it describes, it should really be rated R

Kids will be streaming into multiplexes this weekend for Austin Powers in Goldmember. They will be lured by a flood of TV spots, a million-dollar-giveaway fast-food tie-in--and the chance to see Mike Myers pee into the mouth of a supine villain. This is what the sexually adventurous call a golden shower, and what the movie-ratings board calls PG-13.

All right, the bit is a joke, a trompe l'oeil of forced perspective. But it's one of dozens, a veritable sluice, of gags about penis size, urine, excrement and farts. In silhouette, Austin appears to gratify himself in nearly impossible ways. Fat Bastard,...

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