Vladimir Putin's instructional judo dvd.
First, it was shirtless pics of a ripped Vladimir Putin fishing peacefully. Then, stories emerged of Putin reportedly saving a Russian film crew from certain death by shooting a vicious tiger with a tranquilizer dart. And now this — a judo training video in which Putin flips a guy every which way but loose. If it wasn't official before, it is now: Vladimir Putin is unstoppable.
With tales of Putin's machismo flooding Russian media, the former KGB agent, TIME Person of the Year and — to be fair — judo black belt is a few steps away from becoming a post-Soviet Chuck Norris: all he lacks is a beard and a website. "Who needs bodyguards when you're this good at self-defense?" asks this Russia Today reporter, which is a quite ridiculous thing to say since the ability to flip people isn't at all going to stop an assassin's bullet. The real question begged by these clips from Let's Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin (and again, yes, this is a real DVD): Who is crazy enough to volunteer as his sparring partner? Just think what would happen if that guy in the blue robe reflexively, accidentally flipped Vlad instead of getting flipped. He'd probably up on the front lines in Georgia.
But the money shot here (aside from the press conference at which Putin humbly suggests that the video is not really about him) is the one of the Russian Prime Minister swaying his hips round and round. Clearly, he's loosening them up for maximum potential flippage, yet he looks like he's manipulating an imaginary hula hoop. It's the one moment when his ice cold Russian toughness is nowhere in sight.
That aside, though, he could totally kick your ass. Easy.