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Elsewhere in the book, el-Wafi seeks to make some sense of her son's embrace of radical Islam. She finds none, but on a visit to the notorious Finsbury Park mosque in London, where Moussaoui spent much time during his radicalization process, el-Wafi confronts radical imam Abu Hamza (arrested in 2004 on U.S. charges of complicity and support of terrorism). There she also speaks with many young fundamentalists breathing the same radical rhetoric as her son did. That causes her to wonder whether some will follow his path, and force their mothers to face the same endless torment she has experienced. Indeed, in the book's conclusion el-Wafi notes that while her son's life sentence is better than receiving the death penalty, she says it has left both her and Moussaoui in a kind of silent, futureless limbo that feels a lot like dying.
"In the six months since the trial ended, I still have no news from my son," she notes. "I know neither what he does with his days, nor how. Has he realized he's ruined his entire life for nothing, been manipulated by everyone — including those for whom he thought to be fighting? Or does he remain blind? This silence animates my nightmares."
