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She remembered, as I sat paralyzed, the pink-rose ridges on the inside of the skull, and how from here on down (she made a gesture just above her forehead) "his head was so beautiful. I tried to hold the top of his head down, maybe I could keep it in ... but I knew he was dead." It was all told tearlessly, her wide eyes not even seeing me, a recitative to herself.
Then she described how, when they came to the hospital, they tried to keep her from him, "these big Texas interns kept saying, Mrs. Kennedy, you come with us, they wanted to take me away from him ... But I said I'm not leaving ... Dave Powers came running to me at the hospital, crying when he saw me, my legs, my hands were covered with his brains ... When Dave saw this he burst out weeping ... I said I'm not going to leave him, I'm not going to leave him ... I was standing outside in this narrow corridor ... ten minutes later this big policeman brought me a chair."
Rear Admiral George G. Burkley, U.S. Navy, personal physician to the President, brought her into the operating room, insisting "it's her prerogative, it's her prerogative." Doctor Malcolm Perry, the operating surgeon, wanted her out. But she said, "It's my husband, his blood, his brains are all over me."
Then it was over. "... There was a sheet over Jack, his foot was sticking out of the sheet, whiter than the sheet. His mouth was so beautiful ... his eyes were open. They found his hand under the sheet, and I held his hand all the time the priest was saying extreme unction." Her gloves had stiffened with his blood and she gave one of her hands to "this policeman," and he pulled the glove off. Then: "... the ring was all blood-stained ... so I put the ring on Jack's finger ... and then I kissed his hand ..."
Interspersed with the memories, spoken with the particular whispering intimacy of Jacqueline Kennedy's voice, was constantly this effort to make the statement she had asked me to come and hear. Her message was quite simple:
She believed, and John F. Kennedy shared the belief, that history belongs to heroes; and heroes must not be forgotten. We talked from 8:30 until almost midnight, and it was only after she had rid herself of the blood scene that she tracked clearly what she wanted to say:
"... But there's this one thing I wanted to say ... I'm so ashamed of myself... When Jack quoted something, it was usually classical ... no, don't protect me now ... I kept saying to Bobby, I've got to talk to somebody, I've got to see somebody, I want to say this one thing, it's been almost an obsession with me, all I keep thinking of is this line from a musical comedy, it's been an obsession with me.
"... At night before we'd go to sleep ... we had an old Victrola. Jack liked to play some records. His back hurt,