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One of their objectives is to eliminate the stigma of herpes, often more painful than the illness. It affects performance on the job, disrupts personal relationships and in not a few cases has resulted in cancellations of weddings when one of the partners is told the other has herpes. It also makes the victim something of a pariah. After being told by a doctor that he had herpes, Ray, 29, a reading instructor, turned on departure to shake hands. The doctor would not extend his. ∎