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"So often as a male you have to make it look like there's nothing going on in your head, that you've got yourself under control and there's nothing bothering you," Brian, from Yale, says. "And even though I'm sitting here saying a boy should be O.K. expressing his feelings, I don't tell people a lot of things. I don't even know if this is how I am or if I'm just wrapped up in guy culture."
When I ask Dre what advice he'd give parents about how to talk to kids, he says, "Be straight up, and don't assume that we're going through the same things you did. And if you want to know how it is now, ask." He also wishes he and his friends could be straight up with one another when they fall in love: "If you love her, you love her, and you don't have to be like everyone else. You're still cool."
Wiseman is the author of Masterminds and Wingmen (Harmony Books, 2013) as well as Queen Bees and Wannabes (Harmony Books, 2002)