Sample tweet: "Bart Scott has trademarked phrase "Can't Wait!" BYU's Brandon Davies said "Hey- That's my phrase!""
Eric Stangel, who along with his brother Justin is head writer and executive producer for Late Show with David Letterman, saves some of his best stuff for the sports world. After the New York Knicks traded for Carmelo Anthony, leaving their bench depleted, Stangel wrote, "To complete roster, Knicks sign Air Bud, Teen Wolf & 3 evil robots who played the Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island." After Auburn quarterback and Heisman trophy winner Cam Newton, whose father allegedly tried to coax money out of college recruiters, announced he was turning pro, Stangel tweeted, "Cam Newton to enter NFL Draft. That sound you hear is everyone racing to keyboards to type "He's going to take a paycut." Stangel also ran with the foot-fetish controversy that embroiled hefty New York Jets coach Rex Ryan: "Based on what I've read today, there's a good chance Rex Ryan got lap band surgery just to be able to see his feet again." No one taps into the absurdity of sports better than Stangel, 140 characters at a time.