Friday, Dec. 16, 2011

Futurama's Robot Santa

We always hear about Santa giving gifts to kids who are nice, but what about the kids who are naughty? We assume they get coal in their stocking, but we never actually meet these bad boys and girls. That's why Futurama's Robot Santa is scarily realistic: If we never hear what happens to these supposedly horrible children, isn't it safe to assume they've been blasted into pieces by a vindictive Santa Claus and his minion reindeer?

In the future, according to the zany cartoon, Mom's Friendly Robot Company invents a Santa Claus who is supposed to judge how good you were this past year and give you a present accordingly. However, someone put Robot Saint Nick's morality setting a little too high: In his mind, everyone deserves to be destroyed. Every holiday, the Futurama citizens run in fear from the Christmas cannon launching, grenade-ornament toting force of evil whose only mission is to spread Yuletide cataclysm to one and all. Instead of welcoming Santa with a plate of cookies, characters fear this abomination and prevent him from coming into their homes with heavy shields over their fireplaces and steel covers over their windows. So, sleep with one eye open little children, lest Robot Santa catches you with his missile launcher.