Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2010

Attila the Hun

Attila the Hun was one of the world's most feared conquerors, leading his tribe of Eurasian nomadic warriors into the heart of 5th century Europe, plundering and massacring everywhere he went. A desperate coalition of Roman troops and German barbarian tribes eventually turned back Attila's advance at Chalons, in modern-day France, in 451. Two years later, Attila would die at his own wedding banquet — a consequence of either a lifetime of excessive drinking or secret poisons administered by his latest bride.

Favorite Quotation
• "Attila, the leader of the Huns, who was called the scourge of God, came into Italy, inflamed with fury, after he had laid waste with most savage frenzy Thrace and Illyricum, Macedonia and Moesia, Achaia and Greece, Pannonia and Germany. He was utterly cruel in inflicting torture, greedy in plundering, insolent in abuse."— Some loser Christian priest

Likes and Interests
Pillaging cities, exacting tribute, ravishing captured women, horses.

Recent Status Updates
• "My Italian peeps, where you at? Me and my posse about to roll in. Ladies, look out! Lol xoxo"
• "Tough loss at Chalons yesterday. My soothsayer tells me he read the bones wrong. The only bones that dork will be reading now are his own."
• "Wedding party tonight with my lovely fiancée. Gonna get crunk! ;P"