John Turturro cashes in a little good will from all those indie films with a pretentious (if slightly self-mockingly) though well-intentioned responsible-drinking spot. "This is not a beer," he intones. "This is a sword. Wield it with honor-or cut yourself off." Actually, it only becomes a sword after you break it over the bar and wave the jagged bottle menacingly. At that point, you've already had too many.